I had to do something with this. Because, until today I didn’t know how to express myself about what happened.

You know, my youngest brother 39 years old had a cardiac arrest, totally unexpected. It sounds hard and it is, but in a way I don’t feel like crying. I don’t feel I want to mourn neither.

It was a while ago since I saw my brother and everytime we saw each other we got along very well. Only, the last few years didn’t turn out to be so lucky. My brother and his (ex) wife went through a divorce. And he has two young kids.

So, I can imagen that he didn’t feel well at all. He went through a hard time. I even think he went through a depression. And inevitably this must have caused physical consequences. My sister told me he that he got medical supervision by a medical doctor.

So, more than probably he had to take medicine. There were other consequences too for sure. He even neglected his job. So, there was not enough income to live healthy. He ended up in debt in no time. The problems began to pile up. And as you can guess, he was a real mess a few months ago.

Until he met this woman. She gave him hope again and we all saw that they were good together. A nice couple, as they say.

So, one would expect that he would have been able to pick up the thread again. But he didn’t and probably couldn’t. Because there was caused to much physical damage inside of him. But, not anybody of us had the faintest idea that it had come that far.

I mean, at the age of 39 he had become a physical wreck. My little brother…

And then that movie starts to play inside of my head. You know, the days that he was a small kid. He was 9 years younger than me so we never really played together although we did help him to start walking and drive his go-cart and to learn riding on a bicycle.

And he was a smart kid. He once became a chess-champion in the province at a very young age. He could talk like a lawyer.
He had a great sence of humour and liked to tell jokes. I remember his wonderful smile very well. That’s about the only thing I want to remember about him. That tells me that he was more than once happy in his life.

I don’t like to remember the negative stuff. So, I’m determined, his great smile is a good thing to remember.

And now all I want to say is:

Rest in peace, my little brother…

 

Rudy